Last year, Stupid Elderly Baby Sister (SEBS) is to fly over to Las Vegas and meet up with Hubby and for the first time ever meet all the partners/big cahunas and their trophy wives. She is busy all day in town and has a light breakfast: tea and maybe 1/2 bagel. If that much. Then it's noon and time to go to the airport and she is hungry but figures she'll be in Vegas pretty soon and will eat upon arrival. Starves on the plane, lands and gets picked up by Hubby who says they have all just eaten and are to meet over at a casino. SEBS figures she'll get food at the casino. They all have buffets, right? At the casino, inexplicably, there is NO buffet. But there ARE drinks...Lemon Drops to be specific...and they are all going to a show in 1-1/2 hours so she figures she'll be okay even though she will be very hungry by then, but all right. Show starts up and they do not serve food under any circumstances. Who knows why? This is unheard of. SEBS is ravenous by now but the Lemon Drops have helped a bit in making her think she is at least consuming calories. I guess she forgot about that part where the drinks involve alcohol-drenched calories. After the show, SEBS says/demands she really must have something to eat. She has had nothing since early am and it is now about 11 pm. She gets one last Lemon Drop "for the road" and they are in line for a limo when she pretty much crashes. Hubby observes this and bulls his way through the line and gets a limo "NOW". SEBS is placed at a window and a trophy wife is next to her and Hubby is on the other side. SEBS feebly asks Hubby for his drink cup, he hands it to her, she vomits loudly into it and in a prolonged fashion. Dumps the contents out the window and down the door of the limo, "refills" the cup---does this routine about 3 times. Everyone is opening their windows and kind of dry heaving and SEBS thinks she is finally done so she leans toward Hubby to give him back his cup (!!!!) and proceeds to vomit one last time and with great gusto all over trophy wife's lap. SEBS is, sadly, not TOO drunk to fail to want to die of humiliation but, Oh Well! The next day, after spending the night on a (in her very own words) spectacularly clean bathroom floor in the hotel, she has to face these people again for a day-long golfing/shopping fest. She does not know how she got through it.
Then she got to do it all over again (minus the Lemon Drops) this past summer. She knows there just is no way to ever explain anything to them so like good, uptight white people, NO ONE mentions ANYTHING. SEBS doubts there will ever come the day when she won't reflexively cringe with shame every time she has her recurring self-flagellating thought in which she imagines them saying "That poor guy. His wife, you know. But at least he seems to have gotten her to rehab. She doesn't drink at all, anymore....."
Pansy is Just Glad SHE Can Hold HER Booze! Except for when she doesn't.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment