Occasionally, Mr. Pansy tells Pansy he is going to be in Dallas. He says Dallas is a town in Texas. Pansy is not stupid. She knows full well Dallas is that hag bimbo Pansy saw with Mr. Pansy last week. But she lets Mr. Pansy go because then Pansy is left unattended and fuck knows Pansy loves to be unattended. Because she almost always...hell, she Definitely Always goes on some kind of a Full On Pansy Bender when left unattended.
Then, one night just before Mr. Pansy is going to go to Dallas he suddenly turns to Pansy and with a Really Serious Expression on his face and Very Somber tone of voice he says "Here is some emergency money for you while I am gone. In case you NEED it. Don't just spend it. It is for an emergency only." And hands Pansy a bunch of CASH. Well, well, well! I am quite touched by his serious tone. I have no idea what has gotten into him but he sure got to get into Pansy that night. Twice, what with that kind of up front cash payment!
Away flies Mr. Pansy in the big, shiny Magic Sky Machine and Pansy goes to work. It is the Staff Meeting day. During these meetings we mostly spend the entire morning bullshitting with each other, telling stories from our weekends and once in awhile actually attending to business. We all loved these meetings and the boss also really enjoyed these meetings since he then got to tell his wife all the new stories when he met her for lunch. Sexy Mexican, The Portugese and I contributed the majority of the stories that the boss told his wife. Imagine that.
This meeting is particularly special because I got to share my heartwarming story of Mr. Pansy making certain I had Emergency Money. It's not like he hasn't gone to Dallas before but somehow this time around he felt concerned for me. Maybe someone told him about that Full On Pansy Bender from his last trip. I don't know. But I do know whatever piece of shit tattletale that went to Mr. Pansy is on my For Sure Dead List forever.
Now the rest of the staff are giggling at the absurdity of this Emergency Money from Mr. Pansy. Excuse me---but I am not the one out of town away from anyone who knows me. I can personally go to the bank and withdraw every asset we have, including stock certificates, CDs, gold coins, pornographic photos for blackmail money. Oopsies! Those are the ones HE has of ME to use against ME! Nebbermind! I have his credit cards (left at home so they won't get stolen!) I can max to the limit with cash advances. Hell, I have access to our house title documents if I should decide to sell the house or merely take out a second mortgage. I mean, really! I could be in Mexico living la vida loca within 24 hours. And yet he gives me Emergency Money!
The staff take guesses at how much cash Mr. Pansy had stuffed in my paw. I did not tell them he got to pleasure himself twice with me since that would be too much a clue for them. The guesses ranged from $200 to what the boss thought would be reasonable: $500. When I told them the actual amount they, to a person, dropped their jaws and we all piled into my car for a road trip. To the local Dairy Queen. Because what Mr. Pansy gave me for Emergency Money was $20. I kid you not. What was he thinking?
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