Only Mr. Pansy

Only Mr. Pansy

Something Pansy Found 2 Lifetimes Ago

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, But to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
But for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield,
But to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
But hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant me that I may not be a coward,
Feeling your mercy in my success alone,
But let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.

Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Pansy Praise Is Hollow Indeed

Tour Leader is all kinds of stupid. He has a limitless, lifetime supply of stupid. Which means Pansy can never run out of pranks to pull on him. He did, once, successfully pull off a Payback on Pansy. However, within an hour of that horrible mistake of his, she threw it right back at him. Literally.

Our bicycle club sponsors bicycle tours each year. After the tour, there is a reunion party so we can share stories and photos while eating and especially while drinking to excess. This particular apres' tour party involved the presentation of the Pansy Au Natural Commemorative Patch. Pansy knew the Balance of the Universe hinged on her regaining her composure as well as the upper hand in this duel to the death with Tour Leader. So she composed herself while making a meringue pie topping with eggs from Tour Leader's chickens. Tour Leader's Wife helped Pansy make the meringue because she is Pansy's Friend more than she is Tour Leader's Wife.

There were presentations and various awards given out and the party is winding down. Finally, Pansy stands beside Tour Leader and begins her Speech. Pansy drones on about how the last few years of tours have been great fun, with lots of taunts and one upmanship between her and Tour Leader but that when it really came down to it the tours could never have happened without Tour Leader's very able guidance and devotion, etc., ad nauseum and she Declared A Truce. Pansy then kneels down (!) next to Tour Leader for the "truce has been called" photo-op. He jerks away and is shieing all around like a farm animal being castrated (too late, that had already happened long ago). But Pansy showed her hands and the fact that they were empty settled Tour Leader back down into his chair. He smiles, Pansy drapes her loving right arm around his shoulders, people are sadly gathering to take a picture of the Night The Dream Died And Pansy Burned Down....but, wait!

What's going on with Pansy's LEFT ARM? It's slithering out behind her, Tour Leader's Wife places the meringue-filled pie pan, topped with a chocolate syrup "happy face", into Pansy's hand. Pansy's left arm snakes back at speed and delicately places the pie pan into Tour Leader's face. Just in time for a time-elapse sequence of photos from the many cameras. The photos show the pie arm coming in for a direct hit; the pie pan all over Tour Leader's face; the meringue WITH chocolate "happy face" clearly showing on Tour Leader's face; Pansy laughing maniacally; everyone laughing maniacally; Pansy sprinting away from enraged Tour Leader (with a chocolate syrup "happy face" on his face); Pansy escaping into the swimming pool; Tour Leader lunging into pool and attempting to drown Pansy (can't be done, she has gills); victorious Pansy preening around with Tour Leader pouting in background. OH, it was glorious.

So many party attendees made a point of telling Pansy they were so glad she was such a liar. They had really believed her speech. Many more tours, with pranks, happened. Current Score:

Tour Leader: 1
Pansy: 90 million + 1 Oscar for Best Actress

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